random rants

Just before the weekend, I finally decided to cut the cord; go cold-turkey; bite the bullet; take my chances; cut my loses; take the plunge.
I moved the TV from my room.
That probably needs some explanation. When I arrived here, there was a TV in my room with many cables channels. At any given moment I was basically promised that at least two different American movies would be on, or at least some reruns of CSI or maybe even a funny sitcom (no, that is not a redundancy; it is a necessary distinction). Thus, I found myself with the permanent temptation to ignore my exile through some cinematographic escapism. It is the same temptation that I had most of the past year in Cove. But I've come to the conclusion that a life dependent on TV is a life not worth living. So, out it went.
Sometimes I can't tell whether I'm brave, stupid, or masochistic. I spent most of the weekend bored out of my gourd. Really bored--and homesick.
And yet, I also reclaimed a certain peace and inner recollection that I have lacked most of this past year. I found my pencil and did some drawing. I started studying ahead in my Spanish textbooks. I had the time to reflect and think. TV anesthetizes and scrambles the brain, white noise that makes deep concentration impossible.
Right now I'm isolated with my studies and my thoughts. It is something like being a monk. I'm
not sure if I'd be a good monk, but it does have it's bonuses.

Naturally, now my tutor is nagging me that I need to get out more and practice my Spanish on the street. "What good is it to come to Mexico if you only practice in school? You could do that in the States" (translated). I don't know how to tell her that I hate talking to people "on the street" in the States--why would it change now, when I can't even formulate decent sentences?
I am now beginning week 4. Almost to the halfway point.